Not really sure how I slept to be honest but I did and I called in the morning as directed, went through the same explanations with two different people though not nearly as panicked as yesterday. Like all things, once the initial news sinks in it is very easy to calm down and hope for the best and I am feeling much calmer this morning, if a little vacant. I keep telling myself that I haven’t got this far to lose the baby another way but I know things don’t work like that, there are no fairness rules. So I have to be practical and insist that all bases are covered without looking like a neurotic pregnant nutcase.
That’s very hard.
But I have re read the messages from last night and it keeps leaping out at me that the diagnosis hasn’t been confirmed by a doctor so he could just have an allergy. Long shot I know. A call to the school tomorrow will let me know if it is Slapped Cheek, plenty of others are sure to have it if so.
I pretty much ignored my family all day and immersed myself in my VAT return, choosing to stay distracted. When the GP did finally call me back it was to tell me that I was high risk because of my miscarriages, the cold and sore throat I have had this week could be the start of it and to go to A&E for a blood test. He couldn’t give me anything to prove to A&E that he had said I could do this and all but admitted I had a lot of work to do to get a blood test on a Sunday. I mulled it over and thought against this course of action, my thinking being:
- I could be exposed to something even more serious in A&E and as currently we are just surmising that I might have been exposed to Slapped Cheek, it seems silly to put myself and baby in harms way when we aren’t sure.
- I may not be able to persuade anyone to give me the blood test on the basis I had no referral. This will stress me out and upset me further: not good for me or baby.
- Even if I got the blood test, who’s to say the result would ever find me?
- I have an email address for my surgery and can email them for a blood test for tomorrow. They will know me, will move fast and will know where to send the result etc.
- There is no treatment so it doesn’t actually matter when I do the test, I will only be monitored with extra scans.
- I have my booking in appointment with the midwife on Wednesday and I can rely on her to test me on anything relevant that my GP doesn’t and to give me specialist advice.
- I feel too spaced out and worried to sit in an A&E clinic for four hours surrounded by sports injuries, screaming kids and stressed out underpaid NHS staff.
So instead of going to A&E I worked on my VAT return pretty unsuccessfully all day, put all of the wrong ingredient measurements into my poppy seed almond cake, reversed my car into my neighbours guests car (he actually let me off with scratched paintwork bless him) and burnt my saucepan to smithereens by putting it back on the hob when empty.
I should have stayed in bed. Today was a shit day. On the plus side though I am pretty sure my doppler picked up little one’s heartbeat for about 5 seconds 🙂
Here’s hoping tomorrow is kinder…